A rough night guarantees a rough tomorrow.

Last night was just one of those nights. One of those nights that I hate cf the most. A night that tears me down till I'm to tired to do anything more. It's the only kind of nights that i feel as if the cf wins.

I was laying in bed trying to sleep when I noticed I was wheezing a bit and there was some crackling in my lungs so I got up to do my inhaler but it didn't really help. I knew exactly what was coming and I was dreading it. I hadn't had a bad night since before my picc line I didn't want it to start again now. But sure enough I started coughing a little at first but more and more wanted to come out. I got up to get treatment stuff and some cough medicine and hoped that tonight was just a little one and an extra breathing treatment and cough meds would nip it in the butt but man was I wrong. Before I made it down the hall to do a treatment I had to stop in the bathroom to throw up gunk. Then by time I got to the next bathroom it was time again. I did my treatment and before I could even get the machine off I had to run to the bathroom to throw up once again. I was in there for a while. Those are the nights I feel helpless. It's hot, I can't catch my breath and my body is begging me to go lay down cause it's tired. Finally my coughing subsided and I grabbed a towl and went to lay down. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was asleep. This morning I woke up drained and still a cracking in my chest but after my hypersal and tobi I was feeling a little bit better. After nights like that, where I spent a hour in the bathroom, I like to rest and try to regain some energy. My best friend sherise, cousin elaina and I decided to go sit in a friends pool down the street. It was very relaxing and felt great to be out but by time I got home I was exhausted! I could barely keep my eyes open driving sherise home and back. The rest of night will be sleeping and extra treatments, and I pray that I will have a good nights rest tonight unlike last night.

I am not one to normally complain about my cf but it has just been frustrating me the last few weeks. I get tired of the same old routine 4 treatments every day. My first two and last one last an hour. All my pills. Not being able to spin the night at a friends house without bringing two bags: one with clothes and one full of meds. Worrying about making appointments, insurance, lung transplants in the future and other things a normal 19 year old wouldn't even think about. I have been reading this church book my mom got me a few years back but I had never picked up until now. It has been really inspiring and has really brought up my spirits and is helping me get out of this funk I am in. A few chapters in I decided to go get a highlighter and mark the quotes that made me smile so I can always find them easy. One that I really loved reads, "Have a good attitude about things, speak positively of others, and serve the best you can. Change your negative thoughts to thoughts of faith. God will fight your battles for you, but you must be willing to show him that you trust him." There is always help there for you. "Prepare for a long life, and fill yourself with faith, not fear." In this book the author explains what fear is. He says that fear "hisses words of discouragement like give up now and there is no hope. As it tightens it hold people begin to lose faith." So you must be positive in all things and have faith even when times are rough. The author tells a story kind of like the "walking in sand with Christ" story but instead it is riding a tandem bike with Christ and at first you are in the front controlling the way but you are frightened and slow down in hard ares but then when Christ takes the lead it becomes a little bit easier. The very end says "And when I'm sure I just can't do any more, He just smiles and says, "Pedal.""

There is so much in this book that I could just keep going but I will spare you. So even though I am having a hard time and I am a little down I know I am not alone. I have my family who loves me, friends, all the other cfers out there that know how I feel, and Christ. I just need a positive attitude, faith, and trust and I can do anything :D

Popcorn Popping!

"I looked out the window, and what did I see? Popcorn popping on the apricot tree!
Spring has brought me such a nice surprise. blossoms popping right before my eyes.
I could take a armful and make a treat, A popcorn ball that would smell so sweet.
It wasn't really so, but it seemed to be popcorn popping on the apricot tree."

In primary at church they sing this song during spring about the blossoms on the trees. Growing up I loved the song. We got to stand up and do all the hand signs and sing it real loud. It was one of my favorites but I had no idea what the "popcorn popping on the apricot tree" looked like. Then I moved up to Reno! I finally knew what they meant by April showers bring May flowers. The snow melted and there it was the "blossoms popping right before my eyes!" I was so excited. For the first time I had experienced all 4 seasons. My friend Lorin took some amazing pictures of all the spring time fun around campus and she just now put them up. I forgot how beautiful it all was up there until she put the pictures up toady. I wanted to share them with everyone, especially all those here in vegas that don't get to see beauty like this everyday. We even had baby geese wandering around!

One of the blooming trees my Manzanita Pond
The baby geese were so cute!

Trees by the English building
Us girls enjoying the first warm afternoon in awhile!
The quad when the trees have new baby blossoms

A week without my Mommy!

I know it's crazy my mom is gone and no the house hasn't burnt down and I haven't gone crazy with my Dad being home all day but heck it's only day 1. Today started off with watching soccer and my dad timing himself to see how long he can yell "GOOOOOOOOAL" Finally gotta get out of the house and went to a job interview at Justice with Elaina. Came home and cleaned up the house. Little fun fact of the night.... country is the best music to clean the kitchen to :D I hate cleaning but I felt so productive today. Then got my Dad to help get dinner ready. Yup, you read it right Dad helped with dinner. He grilled us some chicken. I have a feeling this is going to be the smoothest ran week without my mom that we have ever had, but we will see what happens come Saturday though.

For anyone who is wondering where my mom has disappeared to for a week well she is up at Camp Stimpson up at Mt. Charelston for girls camp. I'm so sad I am to old for girls camps now. I love going up to the mountains for a week. No showers no cell phones or internet just me, friends, nature and the spirit. The goal for the week is for the girls to be certified (certain years have certain things they have to do like first aid, fire making, nature stuff and hikes, have a great time, and the other goal is for the girls to use this time away from the world to become closer to God. Growing up there were times that I thought "man this is so stupid I just wanna go ride the zip line and eat that jerky I have in my tent" but now that I look back there is a lot that I learned at camp and so much more that I miss about it. I am so excited to spend time with family up the mountains this summer! On saturday me and elaina went up to help my parents set up camp. After all the work we gotta go down and play on the monkey bridge here are some pictures from our little day trip!

Elaina and I after going on a nature hike to find spirit sticks for Mckayla.
The monkey bridge in all its glory!
Anthony jumping over Elaina
The beauty of Camp 13 at camp stimpson
We had alot of fun getting to spend the day up there in the mountains. After doing the monkey bridge down past camp 1 Elaina and I realized we had left our sunglasses on the branch of a tree up at camp 13 and my parents wouldn't know to grab them so we had to make the trek back up there and man oh man was that hard. I mean going from one to thirteen has always been hard for everyone but this time was different. I could really tell the difference in my lungs after these few years of not being up at camp. It kinda of made me sad but more then sad it woke me up to reality and I knew I really need to work harder and exercise ALOT more to get my lungs back to where they should be. I love being outdoors and camping so much and I am not ready for that to be taken from me just yet. I mean I am not bad but I could be alot better. You know what I mean?

Fathers Day and all that Jazz.

Happy Fathers Day to my amazing Daddy! Even though I felt like my dad didn't need another fathers day cause he's already had 18 and we already know he's my dad I still used today to express my love and gratitude to my Father and all the other dad's we have in our extended family. My Daddy is the smartest, funniest, most efficient handy man I have ever known. If I ever have a question about ANYTHING he knows the answer or will figure it out when it came to math homework he could always do it. He has the dumbest and corniest jokes but they always make me laugh. When it comes to fixing things or working with electronics my dad can figure it out. He is a strong believer in tough love. Growing up he was real tough but you know what I'm to stubborn to get it any other way! Even though he was tough a lot of the time he has his really sweet father moments that I will cherish forever. Growing up I was the biggest Daddy's girl. He also raised me to believe in the power of Christ. Every year before a new school year would start each kid would individually get a meeting with dad to visit and talk about things then we would get a Father Blessing to help us in school. We fight and argue all the time but mom says its because we are so alike we butt heads. Even though we fight I still love him. I appreciate and so much enjoy when I am in the hospital and he swings by home then comes over and spends the rest the day with me. Sure he harasses me, makes fun of nurses after they leave, eats my food, makes me watch crappy tv and snores when he finally falls asleep but I love it. He is the highlight to my hospital stays. He showers says goodbye and tells me he will be back later then heads to work. When he knows I have a doctors appt he calls on his breaks to see how they went. It makes my day every time. He works hard to provide for our family and he has done his best to care for us. When ever I learn something new and exciting or have accomplishments heck even an a job interview my dad is the first person I call. I am so proud of my Dad and what he has accomplished in his life. I love you Daddy and always will.

I can't believe I am about to say this but here goes nothing.... I'm officially a blogger! It took me a few days to figure this whole thing about but I think I finally got it down. The other day I was thinking to myself I love looking at my cousins and friends blogs, I absolutely enjoy writing, and not only that it helps clear my head so this is where it brought me. I'll use this to vent, tell stories and keep family up to date once I am back up to school. Not gonna lie I am thoroughly excited about this!

I am not exactly sure what to write in this first post but I guess I can give a little update on how things have been! First off today is a grand day!! After 3 weeks of iv antibiotics I went to the doctors and blew a 55% which is up 8% so they gave the ok and I got my picline pulled! I also got a referral to a doctor to go ahead and get a port set up so I don't have to deal with pic's ever again, which is a HUGE sigh of relief. 8 pic's later I am more then done with them. The last couple weeks have been great ones actually. My cousin Sierra graduated and I had a great time with family there, we threw a surprise birthday party for my grandpa's 80th birthday and almost the whole family was able to make it (50+ people) I had never seen my grandpa so happy before.


One of my best friends flew down to spend 3 days in Vegas with us girls. We had a pretty fun weekend I didn't get to go swimming but just hanging out watching wife swap and going to the movies is good enough for me! Yesterday was a sad day having to say goodbye but it's alright I will get enough of her once we move into our apartment in august (:

Finally have a job interview on Tuesday so cross your fingers I get the job so I can have a little extra money when I go back up to school. I guess right now you could say I couldn't be happier. A nice summer break away from things is really what I needed. I am about ready to head back up to school but sadly I have 2 1/2 months left. After all my relaxing I get a little bit bored of not having something productive to do. I better get that job so I don't end up with a chronic case of couch potato!

One last thing before I go my friend Ronny who serves in the United States AF just went back over seas to help over in Afghanistan. So please keep our men and women fighting for our country in your hearts and prayers.