Monday, January 31, 2011

Sad changes and Amazing memories.

So I am taking a break from the 30 day challenge because I have something to blog about today. Everybody knows the economy in this country is in the gutter and has yet to pick itself back up and particularly in Nevada the job market is a disaster. All my life have I had almost my entire family in Las Vegas or super close in places like Boulder City or Moapa Valley. Well within the next couple weeks starting Wednesday that all changes. My grandparent's Aunt and Uncle are headed up north to Idaho after living in vegas for more then 40 years because it is cheaper to live there and more of a job market. Then a few weeks or so later my Uncle Kish is moving to Utah because he has a job there. I can't even begin to image what it's going to be like not having either of those homes there this summer to go hangout at. Then I have my cousin Jerrad, who over the past year or two, I have become very close to leaving to go work with his brother in ND.

I was taught by my parents at a very young age just how important family is. Friends will come and go but your family is there forever. Growing up my cousins were my best friends. We would have sleep overs where we would play ALL night until the morning then as we got older we talked or did crafts ALL night till the sun came out. We have inside jokes, and amazing memories. My Aunts and Uncles have also been like best friends to me. I have seen them help each other out when things were rough, and I have heard them give encouraging words to one another. I was taught what love is and how strong of a bond a family holds all by example.

Growing up birthday parties of all kinds were held at Grandma's house, my 18th birthday party and graduation party was even held there. For as long as I can remember we had Sunday dinner at Grandma's house, sometimes even Friday night or Saturday night dinners were there. We helped Grandma put up here Christmas tree every year and watched White Christmas with Kish and Duclie's family there. Us girls grew up climbing the tree in the front yard then going inside, locking ourselves in the bathroom and putting on Grandma's makeup. Now a days we don't climb the tree, the great grand kids do, and we have our own make-up, but we do come over for dinner and movies or play apples to apples in Grandmas kitchen table till late into the night. We talk sports with Grandpa, or yell cause he can't hear, and we learn how to make our favorite recipes that my Grandma has perfected over the years. Once I finally got my license it was a regular routine to tell my puppy we were "going bye bye to Grandmas" and she would get all excited jump around and we would ride over. Grab a Dr. Pepper and hang out and watch reruns of old tv shows with Spring in the kitchen. Now that is all gone. Christmas breakfast, Christmas dinner, thanksgiving at Grandma's with her over sized bowl of potatos for Kib, coming over to freshly made popcorn balls and Dulcie and I getting a little overly excited about them. Every single Grand kid has brought there friends over for Taco's and warned them before they walked in that they have alot of dogs but there bark is worse then there bit, well except pimp. Spring and Shan have done so much for my Mom and my family. They have been her crutch during so many hard times. I worry more about her then me missing them. Her Mother and Spring and her best friends.

I wish I had more memories with Jerrad to share.... when we were little our families lived together but growing up he was one of the older cousins so we weren't very close, but over the past year or two we have become very close. I love him so much and I know I can go to him with absolutely everything and he will lend a listening ear, some great advice, and will put a smile on my face. I can also trust him with anything. I hate that when I am home this summer he won't be at family things or cousin get togethers, and that ND is even further from Nevada then Idaho and Utah are but at least he is going to be with his older brother and he is happy with this decision. I know he is only a phone call or text away, and the fact that we became so much closer once I was already up in Reno helps. I love Jerrad and am so glad that I did get the time I had over winter break and Thanksgiving to see him before he left.

Then there is My Uncle Kish and Aunt Dulcie. My whole life there home has been like a second home to me. We had sleep overs up until I left for college. In high school we would pick a ditch day to have a sleep over and miss class. They might be cousins but they are some of my best friends. Kish and Dulcie have been so great to me. I thank them for raising such amazing kids that I love but I thank them for everything they have done for my family and my mom. My Uncle Kish is such an amazing, strong, hard working man, and I have seen my Mom go to him for advice many times. They come visit me in the Hospital with Sonic, and if you ever want a good meal that is the home to be in. Once I was able to drive I spent many weekends over there. There were times that I was having a bad day and I would text my Uncle Kish and ask if he was home and I would go watch a movie with him and Dulcie. None of the kids just them. It's great to be that close to an Aunt and Uncle. Kish always checks to see how much gas I have before driving home, and will call me or text me on whim just to tell me he loves me. My aunt dulcie has been a great friend to my mom. They do SO much together. I know my mom is going to miss her and all the things they normally do together.

Those are now two safe havens of mine that are gone. Two places I called home gone. Two homes full of amazing people that are moving hundreds of miles away. I was talking with some cousins recently about how hard this move is going to be but it was pointed out that we are strong because of each other and we grew up being so close. It might take a little bit more effort then it use to but we will still have each other. Now we can see how fast we can lose something we can't waste a single moment we have. Plus road trips are always fun, and pocatello and salt lake aren't to far apart! I probably sound pathetic like a family member just passed away... while this is nothing like that, it's a huge chapter of my life that is closing. Memories that are just memories now and no going back... now we have new places to make memories. I am just so sad to see it go.... I know most people don't live so close to family like I have my whole life and I feel very privileged and lucky to have, but losing an amazing thing is hard. I also can't help but regret not spending my last week of break in vegas. I was finally feeling better and could of spent more time over at Grandma's or with Dulcie but instead I left. The 3 weeks I was there I was so terribly sick I hardly went out to see them. What I would give to be there just one more time. Just one more dinner, one more family party at Grandma's with 3 tv's on, Kish playing a music video for someone on the computer, Sheena yelling at someone, the dogs barking and kids laughing. We have a crazy family but a family I love. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I hate that I have been up here in Reno for school not there to help pack and say bye.

Here is to amazing memories that will last me forever, here is to creating new ones in Idaho and Utah, and here is to getting together with the cousins that are my world to keep creating our very own memories in our own homes.

Here is just a small collection of great memories I have from Grandma's growing up:

Brought the girls over from to watch the Boise game with Pizza

My surprise 18th Birthday w/ family!!

My Graduation party at Grandmas!

Just a random night with Arbys, a movie and the cutest little boy ever.

Watching the rain on Grandma's porch

Watching a video during Grandpa's 80th!

Uncle Kish and Gramps!

Christmas Dinner just one of many tables.

This is where you could always find the boys

Dancing in Spanish mode with Buzz and Hugh.

Jerrad and I at our family Christmas party.
I was so excited to see him there!

Cooking Christmas Breakfast for the final year.

All my amazing Aunts and Uncles.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Day Three: Mom and Dad

Day Three: My Parents

Where do I begin when talking about my parents?? Do I start off with how hard working they both are, how caring and loving, how loyal to their faith they are. I could go on for ages. I guess I will talk about each one individually because they both bring something different to the table.

My Momma, is amazing! She is one of the most caring, hard working, selfless people I know. Not just when it comes to her kids or family but to everyone. She serves our church to her fullest ability, she keeps our home neat and orderly, makes delicious dinner, would be there to help a family member or friend in need in a heart beat. She is kind and generous, but she is also a women who will stand her ground and be proud in what she believes. When one of us kids are in the hospital she spends basically her whole day sitting in there with us, It might be one of the most boring places but she stays with us. When we were young she was our advocate in the doctors office and made sure things got done right. Not only does she sit with us in the hospital but when another family member or friend is there she comforts and supports them and bring food into there home so that that is one less thing they have to worry about. I saw that most recently with the passing away of my cousin Beth. After her accident my mom was there everyday for almost a week then after she passed my mom and Aunt brought dinner to my Aunt and Uncle so they wouldn't have to worry about that. She is selfless. When shopping she would buy something for one of the kids or our home before she would buy something for herself. What I am most grateful for though is what an amazing teacher and example she has been. Now that I am moved out and on my own I realize how much she has taught me by example. I know how to cook a great dinner, clean, give to others, stay on top of my medical things, smile in the face of negativity, and so much more. It's hard to see everything she does while you have it, but like they say you don't know what you've got till its gone. She's not gone but I am not living at home under her wing anymore and now I can see how much she does and I know how much I love and appreciate her for it. What I miss most is how she use to rub my head while I lay on her lap when I get really sick and she will run to the store to get my sprite or Gatorade just to help me feel better. She is such a caring loving Mother.

My Daddy, where to start? He is a hard worker, a great dancer, hilarious since of humor, loves me for me, and just like my Mom is very strong and has lots of faith when it comes to church. My Dad goes to work day in and day out getting up at 4 in the morning just so he can provide for us. I am pretty sure he knows everything about everything... I'm dead serious!! Ask him a question he'll know the answer. Just the other night I sat on the computer with him for almost an hour as he helped me step by step debug my computer. For years he has helped me with homework from school, primarily math. He taught me how to parallel park and made me do my first freeway drive! When us kids are in the hospital he goes from work straight home to get clothes for the next day, grabs dinner and comes to the hospital. My mom leaves and he is there. He eats my food I don't like on my dinner tray, watches tv with me, doesnt complain to much when I don't let him play video games then we call it a night. He sleeps. No really he sleeps... not even nurses coming in wakes him up! He gets up at 4:30 showers kisses me goodbye and is off to work again. This last time I was in the hospital I told him he could go home at night to sleep in his own bed but he still came by after work to hang out. There is nobody out there with the same since of humor as my Dad. It is great. He can make anybody laugh. Everybody says he butt heads so much because we are so much alike.... I would like to agree. One of the best and most recent amazing things I can think of about my Dad was over winter break when I was home and I was so sick. I had just finished my 2 hr glucose test and I was going to eat and take my prednisose. My lungs hurt so bad and prednisone always helps. Well I had to take 2 and a half tablets. I couldn't find the pill cutter so I did it with a knife and both pieces went flying. I stood in the kitchen crier cause all I wanted to do was take my meds and lay down to sleep. My Dad walked in and was all are you crying?? and instead of laughing like I thought he would he called my mom asked where the pill cutter was and did it for then we went in the living room and while he played video games with Sam I cuddled up next to him and fell asleep.At every wedding I have ever been to with my Daddy we dance together, he makes me strive to do better in every aspect of my life. He is also probably the best person ever to fix a hurting back. Sure sometimes he teases me and makes me cry or he wrestles me and hurts me but it's all in good fun. My Dad is an amazing person. I know he is there for me when I need help on anything.

I love my parents. They are my rock. I don't know where I would be in life if it wasn't for them. I don't know how they have dealt with me for almost 20 years now... I know I was a brat most of my life and it wasn't easy. I own alot to them and love them so much.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Day one & two.

Day One: A recent picture of yourself, and 15 interesting facts.

1. My middle name comes from my 4th great Grandmother.
2.I don't go a day without having at least one Dr. Pepper, it's like my "cup of coffee."
3. I broke my elbow in band in the 8th grade
4. I HATE roller coasters and refuse to ride on them.
5. The happiest place on earth isnt' Disney Land its at the lake with friends and family.
6. I might have a slight addiction to fast food.... it's just sooo yummy!
7. I would rather clean the bathroom then do dishes.
8. I graduated high school with honors, and was only .05 away from high honors!
9. I am going to school to so I can one be a special education teacher.
10. I am the furthest thing from a morning person.
11. My favorite color is purple.
12. My favorite part of flying is the complementary peanuts and drinks, I get so excited!
13. I think that men should be doctors and women should be nurses... not the other way around.
14. I don't care for sweets. I would rather have sour or spicy. (I put hot sauce on everything!)
15. I played the piano and clarinet and can still kind of play them still today.

Day Two: Meaning behind my blog name.

Well the title of my blog is "Live. Laugh. Love. Breathe." The saying, live laugh love, has always been one of my favorite sayings because it is a fabulous motto to live your life by. As I began to get more connected with the online CF community I realized there are lots of people with the word breathe tattooed and how the word breathe was so much more then just 6 letters strung together. The word breathe meant so much more to us as to anyone else. So I thought to myself I could add the word breathe to my already favorite saying. It's such a great motto to live your life by. Just by doing the simple easy things in life. Just live your life, and live it to the fullest. Be able to laugh at yourself. It's been shown laughing can add years to ones life... it's actually good for your body. I don't know where I would be if it wasn't for all the love I am surrounded by. You must be able to love in order to adequately receive it. Then of course breathe.... I don't think that word needs much explanation for anyone with CF or someone close to them. Some days breathing hurts or it's a struggle to get that deep breathe in. Other days the air is able to flow right through. Some days are filled with stress, doubt and negativity and all you need to do is to slow down for a second and breathe.... and remember what it is that puts a smile on your face. So when thinking of a name for a blog that was going to be about my life and I why not title it by my favorite saying to live by?!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Something to blog about....

In the last month or so I have been absent from the blogging world. I stay caught up reading blogs but not writing my own. With getting sick, school starting again, and some issues I am working out I feel like if I sit down to blog it will be one giant blog of negativity and complaining and I will not allow that! You say how do you know that? Well, every night and during naps I have nightmares I am drowning that seem so real I am confused when I wake up in a panic in my bed... even my dreams are telling me I am overwhelmed right now. So to help keep my mind off things I have dived into school and gone back to the gym. However, I miss blogging and sharing things with friends, family and my cf family that I love or about my life so I am going to take on the 30 day challenge that seems to be going around the blog world. I don't know if I will do it every day but it will keep me occupied and positive! So here is the 30 things:

Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts

Day 2: Meaning behind your blog name

Day 3: Your Parents

Day 4: Your first love
Day 5: A song to match your mood
Day 6: A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 7: Favorite movies
Day 8: A place you've traveled to

Day 9: A favorite picture of your best friend

Day 10: Something you're afraid of

Day 11: Favorite tv shows

Day 12: Something you don't leave the house without
Day 13: Goals
Day 14: A picture of you last year - how have you changed?

Day 15: Bible verse

Day 16: Dream house

Day 17: Something you're looking forward to

Day 18: Favorite Place to Eat
Day 19: Something you miss
Day 20: Nicknames

Day 21: Favorite Picture of yourself ALL TIME Why?
Day 22: What's in your purse?
Day 23: Favorite Movie

Day 24: Something you've learned

Day 25: Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs
Day 26: Your Dream Wedding
Day 27: Original Photo of the city you live in

Day 28: Something that stresses you out

Day 29: 3 Wishes

Day 30: a picture of yourself this day and 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge

I will start this challenge tomorrow! Until then adios. Finishing treatments and going to bed.