Day Three: Mom and Dad

Day Three: My Parents

Where do I begin when talking about my parents?? Do I start off with how hard working they both are, how caring and loving, how loyal to their faith they are. I could go on for ages. I guess I will talk about each one individually because they both bring something different to the table.

My Momma, is amazing! She is one of the most caring, hard working, selfless people I know. Not just when it comes to her kids or family but to everyone. She serves our church to her fullest ability, she keeps our home neat and orderly, makes delicious dinner, would be there to help a family member or friend in need in a heart beat. She is kind and generous, but she is also a women who will stand her ground and be proud in what she believes. When one of us kids are in the hospital she spends basically her whole day sitting in there with us, It might be one of the most boring places but she stays with us. When we were young she was our advocate in the doctors office and made sure things got done right. Not only does she sit with us in the hospital but when another family member or friend is there she comforts and supports them and bring food into there home so that that is one less thing they have to worry about. I saw that most recently with the passing away of my cousin Beth. After her accident my mom was there everyday for almost a week then after she passed my mom and Aunt brought dinner to my Aunt and Uncle so they wouldn't have to worry about that. She is selfless. When shopping she would buy something for one of the kids or our home before she would buy something for herself. What I am most grateful for though is what an amazing teacher and example she has been. Now that I am moved out and on my own I realize how much she has taught me by example. I know how to cook a great dinner, clean, give to others, stay on top of my medical things, smile in the face of negativity, and so much more. It's hard to see everything she does while you have it, but like they say you don't know what you've got till its gone. She's not gone but I am not living at home under her wing anymore and now I can see how much she does and I know how much I love and appreciate her for it. What I miss most is how she use to rub my head while I lay on her lap when I get really sick and she will run to the store to get my sprite or Gatorade just to help me feel better. She is such a caring loving Mother.

My Daddy, where to start? He is a hard worker, a great dancer, hilarious since of humor, loves me for me, and just like my Mom is very strong and has lots of faith when it comes to church. My Dad goes to work day in and day out getting up at 4 in the morning just so he can provide for us. I am pretty sure he knows everything about everything... I'm dead serious!! Ask him a question he'll know the answer. Just the other night I sat on the computer with him for almost an hour as he helped me step by step debug my computer. For years he has helped me with homework from school, primarily math. He taught me how to parallel park and made me do my first freeway drive! When us kids are in the hospital he goes from work straight home to get clothes for the next day, grabs dinner and comes to the hospital. My mom leaves and he is there. He eats my food I don't like on my dinner tray, watches tv with me, doesnt complain to much when I don't let him play video games then we call it a night. He sleeps. No really he sleeps... not even nurses coming in wakes him up! He gets up at 4:30 showers kisses me goodbye and is off to work again. This last time I was in the hospital I told him he could go home at night to sleep in his own bed but he still came by after work to hang out. There is nobody out there with the same since of humor as my Dad. It is great. He can make anybody laugh. Everybody says he butt heads so much because we are so much alike.... I would like to agree. One of the best and most recent amazing things I can think of about my Dad was over winter break when I was home and I was so sick. I had just finished my 2 hr glucose test and I was going to eat and take my prednisose. My lungs hurt so bad and prednisone always helps. Well I had to take 2 and a half tablets. I couldn't find the pill cutter so I did it with a knife and both pieces went flying. I stood in the kitchen crier cause all I wanted to do was take my meds and lay down to sleep. My Dad walked in and was all are you crying?? and instead of laughing like I thought he would he called my mom asked where the pill cutter was and did it for then we went in the living room and while he played video games with Sam I cuddled up next to him and fell asleep.At every wedding I have ever been to with my Daddy we dance together, he makes me strive to do better in every aspect of my life. He is also probably the best person ever to fix a hurting back. Sure sometimes he teases me and makes me cry or he wrestles me and hurts me but it's all in good fun. My Dad is an amazing person. I know he is there for me when I need help on anything.

I love my parents. They are my rock. I don't know where I would be in life if it wasn't for them. I don't know how they have dealt with me for almost 20 years now... I know I was a brat most of my life and it wasn't easy. I own alot to them and love them so much.

Day one & two.

Day One: A recent picture of yourself, and 15 interesting facts.

1. My middle name comes from my 4th great Grandmother.
2.I don't go a day without having at least one Dr. Pepper, it's like my "cup of coffee."
3. I broke my elbow in band in the 8th grade
4. I HATE roller coasters and refuse to ride on them.
5. The happiest place on earth isnt' Disney Land its at the lake with friends and family.
6. I might have a slight addiction to fast food.... it's just sooo yummy!
7. I would rather clean the bathroom then do dishes.
8. I graduated high school with honors, and was only .05 away from high honors!
9. I am going to school to so I can one be a special education teacher.
10. I am the furthest thing from a morning person.
11. My favorite color is purple.
12. My favorite part of flying is the complementary peanuts and drinks, I get so excited!
13. I think that men should be doctors and women should be nurses... not the other way around.
14. I don't care for sweets. I would rather have sour or spicy. (I put hot sauce on everything!)
15. I played the piano and clarinet and can still kind of play them still today.

Day Two: Meaning behind my blog name.

Well the title of my blog is "Live. Laugh. Love. Breathe." The saying, live laugh love, has always been one of my favorite sayings because it is a fabulous motto to live your life by. As I began to get more connected with the online CF community I realized there are lots of people with the word breathe tattooed and how the word breathe was so much more then just 6 letters strung together. The word breathe meant so much more to us as to anyone else. So I thought to myself I could add the word breathe to my already favorite saying. It's such a great motto to live your life by. Just by doing the simple easy things in life. Just live your life, and live it to the fullest. Be able to laugh at yourself. It's been shown laughing can add years to ones life... it's actually good for your body. I don't know where I would be if it wasn't for all the love I am surrounded by. You must be able to love in order to adequately receive it. Then of course breathe.... I don't think that word needs much explanation for anyone with CF or someone close to them. Some days breathing hurts or it's a struggle to get that deep breathe in. Other days the air is able to flow right through. Some days are filled with stress, doubt and negativity and all you need to do is to slow down for a second and breathe.... and remember what it is that puts a smile on your face. So when thinking of a name for a blog that was going to be about my life and I why not title it by my favorite saying to live by?!

Something to blog about....

In the last month or so I have been absent from the blogging world. I stay caught up reading blogs but not writing my own. With getting sick, school starting again, and some issues I am working out I feel like if I sit down to blog it will be one giant blog of negativity and complaining and I will not allow that! You say how do you know that? Well, every night and during naps I have nightmares I am drowning that seem so real I am confused when I wake up in a panic in my bed... even my dreams are telling me I am overwhelmed right now. So to help keep my mind off things I have dived into school and gone back to the gym. However, I miss blogging and sharing things with friends, family and my cf family that I love or about my life so I am going to take on the 30 day challenge that seems to be going around the blog world. I don't know if I will do it every day but it will keep me occupied and positive! So here is the 30 things:

Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts
Day 2: Meaning behind your blog name
Day 3: Your Parents
Day 4: Your first love
Day 5: A song to match your mood
Day 6: A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 7: Favorite movies
Day 8: A place you've traveled to
Day 9: A favorite picture of your best friend
Day 10: Something you're afraid of
Day 11: Favorite tv shows
Day 12: Something you don't leave the house without
Day 13: Goals
Day 14: A picture of you last year - how have you changed?
Day 15: Bible verse
Day 16: Dream house
Day 17: Something you're looking forward to
Day 18: Favorite Place to Eat
Day 19: Something you miss
Day 20: Nicknames
Day 21: Favorite Picture of yourself ALL TIME Why?
Day 22: What's in your purse?
Day 23: Favorite Movie
Day 24: Something you've learned
Day 25: Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs
Day 26: Your Dream Wedding
Day 27: Original Photo of the city you live in
Day 28: Something that stresses you out
Day 29: 3 Wishes
Day 30: a picture of yourself this day and 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge

I will start this challenge tomorrow! Until then adios. Finishing treatments and going to bed.

The good the bad the..... excellent!

Nope no ugly to place at the end of that ever so popular quote. I only have one bad report followed up by an excellent! First the good: No spending time in the hole (for those who don't know the hole is the hospital) for me over winter break like I had planned!! That will be saved for summer break which I prefer because I only have a month off for winter and 4 months off for summer so I have plenty more time to waste there! The bad isn't all THAT bad but it still sucks. After a week of steroids and antibiotics my PFT's aren't up enough and I already knew this was coming because I am still exhausted, coughing up to much, and there is a sharp pain when I take in deep breathes in my left lung... So a 3 maybe 4 week round iv's for me. What a way to start off my spring semester... yippie! Oh and to top things off I have a sore throat which means a potential cold! On the bright side that does mean that I will be healthy as can be once school starts! Now for the main event: The excellent! After 3 years of putting it off I finally went to do my blood glucose test because I promised the doctors I would get it done while I was in town and they said I wasn't allowed to take my steroid until I did the test because it would mess with the numbers so that next morning off I went. The CF coordinator called today with my test results and to everybody's amazement my numbers came back normal! No diabetes as of yet for me!! CFRD can kiss my booty. I told them I was fine, but I had weird blood sugar problems growing up and my pft's have been kind of stuck so they figured that is what it was but nope not yet. So far, diabetes is one thing I have been able to put off acquiring. I say that like it's all up to me when I get it, but I would like to think there was something I was doing right that is postponing it... wouldn't you?

I never did get the chance to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, so even though I am a little to late it's the thought that counts.... Merry Christmas! I hope everyone had a time full of family, friends, food and blessings. I know I did. It was a bitter sweet year because it was the last in my Grandparents house but all the cousins got together and had a great time! Tacos and a program on Christmas Eve then breakfast and dinner at Grandmas Christmas. I even had a day of feeling okay! Now it's time to start a new year. I can't wait to see what 2011 holds for me. Hopefully it's full of more good then bad! Vertex is hoping for 2011 to be their year with new drugs.... cross your fingers everyone!

Sierra and her BF Axl at our family Christmas party!

White elephant game for the Christmas party
EARLY Christmas morning at grandmas
Dancing in "spanish mode" with hugh and Buzz


Our Christmas Eve pajamas (:

My favorite day of the week: Thankful Thursday.

It has been such a great weekend and I am so excited to sit down and share what I have been blessed with and encourage everyone else reading this to sit down and make a list as well!! It makes you feel so amazing to see everything you have.

1. I know I did this last week but I have to again. My roomies, my best friends, the girls that make me smile!! We had our very first Christmas as roomies this year... we couldn't afford a tree, not even a little charlie brown tree so I took the liberty of printing one out and taping it on our tv so we could put our presents under it! Since we are poor college students we decide to do a secret santa so that we didn't have to buy for everyone just one person. We had so much fun going around in a circle opening our presents. Everyone loved everything. We were like a little family. I even got a little bit of snow that night which is what I'd been wishing for all week!!

2. I am so grateful for my doctors. I know I know this is so cleshay for me but really.... I've been so tired lately, coughing a lot more, and my lungs just feel heavy and I am heading home for Christmas so I wouldn't be here in reno for the cf clinic I had scheduled so my amazing doctors back in vegas squeezed me into a clinic last min. Sure it's at 7:45 in the morning but I need it and they made it happen. Now I can guarantee feeling great for Spring semester.

3. I love hulu! In our apartment we can't afford cable and we have an older tv so we need a converter box to get just basic television on it, but we don't have the money for that right now so we watch all our favorite tv shows this year on hulu. We don't miss a beat! I know stupid but it's a great way to relax when you need a break from hw or you are eating your lunch. Recently,we got the most excited for the Victoria Secret fashion show being on there for us to watch!

4. Glasses or Contacts. I get the choice between the two. Some days my eyes are tired and just don't want contacts, but other days I hate wearing my glasses. I am thankful for the option of which one I would rather wear when.

5. My roommates not being into video games! Between my dad and brother that is all that has been on the tv since I arrived home last night, and it's driving me crazy! I am so glad one of the girls isn't into a game system.

6. My puppy. I miss her so much when I am gone at school! My daddy said last night when he said I was coming home she got all excited and was wagging her tail waiting for me. All morning she cuddled up under my blankey keeping me warm and snuggling with me. Now every time I sit on the couch she comes running up sit with me. She is by far the cutest, most amazing doggy ever!

Thankful Thursday!!

Last week Mandi decided to bring back the Thankful Thursday for this wonderful holiday season. She had been inspired by a sermon they heard at church, and asked everyone, who wanted to, to participate in this with them. I have so much to be thankful for and I could never turn down the opportunity to show my appreciation for everything I have! If you would like to read Ronni and Mandi's Thankful Thursday they are over at "run sick boy run"

1. I am so grateful that I have been able further my education past high school. Not everyone is able to afford it and has to work after HS while talking classes or work until they have enough saved up to pay for classes.Last year I had an amazing aunt and uncle that cosigned on a loan to allow me to take out enough money to move up to reno and take classes and University of Nevada.This year was a little harder on money, but my parents wanted me to be happy and if going to school in Reno meant my happiness they would find a way to make that possible and we did! I am able to better myself and plan for my future. I am so blessed to be sitting in my apartment right now taking a break from studying for my finals I have today. I know you're thinking how can she say she is blessed to take finals?! Don't worry I do hate them very much, but these finals will just show how much I have learned and grown this past semester and that is what I am thankful for.

2. I am incredibly thankful for medical advances we have today and the ones we have to look forward to in the future. It is because of all the hard working scientist that I owe the amazing quality of life.... heck my life to. I wouldn't be here today without them!

3. I am thankful for airplanes. Instead of driving 9 hours through the middle of nowhere Nevada desert to get home for the holidays coming up I get to hop on a plane and be there in an hour!! I even get complimentary peanuts/pretzels and a Dr. Pepper. What more can a girl ask for?

4. I am so blessed to live in a time where the world wide web is growing and technology is getting better! Because of this there is such an amazing support system for us CFers online! I don't know what I did before them. Any fear or concern you have they are their to give advice and to tell you that you are not alone... with any good numbers or celebrations they are there to give you a pat on the back on the tell you good job. They are also so somebody who understands what you are going through and are willing to hold you accountable for working out and doing your treatments. The online CF community is so large and so strong. I am so grateful to have them.

5. Last but not least I am grateful for my friends. They take such good care of me. They give me crap when I'm making stupid mistakes, they drive me to doctors appointments and sit with me, they sit in the emergency waiting room with me for hours, they make me eat when I'm sick, won't let me leave without a treatment, put up with my mondo boxes of meds that take up half the top shelf of our fridge and my meds that take up a shelf in the kitchen. They don't see my ugly port bump, and are so immune to my cough that they don't even notice it unless I am sick and it's increased. They have learned to sleep even with the noises my oxygen makes, like laughing at me when I talk with my vest on, and they always know how to keep a smile on my face. I love my friends. They are like family to me.

I can't wait until next week to pick another 5 things I am thankful for. I have so many!!

It's been a little crazy for awhile with midterms, projects, trips home and now trying to get over my first cold of the season. With the holidays and finals just around the corner it shows no sign of stopping but I wanted to sit down and update the blog world because it's been far to long! A week or so ago I was able to fly home for a few days for my cousin Trinity's wedding. It was so beautiful and so great to be able to be there with all my family. We also had my Aunt Aimee's family and Ashtyn's family over for breakfast one of the days I was in town so I could meet Ashtyn's new little guy. It was a great weekend home, and I cannot wait to go home this week for Thanksgiving and even more family fun!

Sisters of the groom! My cousins and best friends!

Dancing with my Daddy

Lately I have been thinking a lot about life and what it is I want to accomplish in my life. Sure I'm in college pursuing a degree to be a special education teacher which is great. I love my classes and my school. I can't wait to get into the classrooms with the children, but there is so much more to life then going to college and making a living. I've come to realize the two most important and amazing things, to me, are 1.love and 2. the creation of life. Let me elaborate a bit on this.

1. There is a difference between loving someone and being IN love with someone. There are so many people in my life that I truly love and care for but I can't wait for that day that I find the right boy for me and I fall head over heels in love with him. Love isn't something that happens over night, love isn't easy, but love is worth it. Anybody can be in a relationship, anybody can say those three words but to really truly mean it takes work, it takes time. Opening yourself up so completely to someone can be scary but in the end it can be worth it. Yes, I have loved somebody... Was I IN love I don't know. I thought I was but somebody that loved you as much as they said would never hurt them as badly as I was hurt. I used that as a lesson learned for the future. God has a plan for me and has made someone special with me in mind. So I will live my life until the day comes that I realize who that is. I want that fairytale wedding, with a beautiful dress, and to dance with my daddy to a song that I want my cousin Scott to sing, have my car decorated saying "Just married" by cousins and friends... a girl dreams of this day for years. I want to find that person that makes me smile, and gives me butterfly's every time we touch. Someone caring and kind and hard working. I can't help but imagine my own wedding when I get to go to friends and family members weddings, which I have been doing a lot of lately.

2. The creation of life... babies. They are such a little miracles, it's amazing. I have only ever been able to experience, thus far, family members and friends babies but I so look forward to the day that I am able to get married and have a child of my own. Raise a family. Do my daughters hair and play games with my little boy. Take them out to ice cream and soccer games. Watch there daddy teach them how to ride a bike. Teach them to tie their shoes, cook in the kitchen, read a book. Take them to their first day of school, their graduations, then one day help them move out and go to college and cry even though I know I raised them right and know they can do it. I can only imagine how amazing it is going to be. I remember when my cousin Amber was pregnant and we would lay there in the living room and watch little Braiden move all over. It was a little bundle of joy growing inside her.

What scares me the most is the possibility of none of this happening here on this earth. I have Cystic Fibrosis. That right there underlines, highlights, and circles number 2, having a baby. I would have to be in great health and have several doctors to watch my care. Then once I have the child I will have to try my hardest to take care of this new born along with keeping up with sleep and my own health. I know plenty of CF mommies that do this but it's going to be hard. As of right now I don't even know if I can get pregnant. That normally isn't a problem for CF girls, but I've had ever complication in the book so for me who knows. If I can't have a child of my own I want to adopt a little baby. I want the privilege and honor to raise, adore, and love a child that I can call my own. I want a family one day. It also scares me to get married. I have to find such a special person that is willing to be their for me when things get rough and not run out on me when things get scary, because I know at times they will get scary. Every now and then I get this feeling of guilt that creeps up that tells me it's not fair to let someone fall in love with me when I will be leaving this earth before they do. I will be leaving them all alone and our children without a mommy, unless a cure or miracle drug is to be found. That filling of guilt sits in the back of my head and every now and then it shows it's ugly face. These are my two biggest goals in life, but at times they seem impossible. This new vertex drug that is coming out within in the next few years is the most exciting thing to me. In 2011 Vertex hopes to be submitting good news to the FDA to get approved but that drug will not be for my gene mutation but if that works out the one that is for mine, Delta F508, is just one step behind and I believe it will make it. It's not a cure but it's such a giant leap towards one! I know God has a plan for me and I will have to live my life to the fullest to find out what that plan is. Don't get me wrong... I love my life. I have amazing friends and a great family! I am having a blast in college and learning a lot, but I just hope and pray one day my life involves these two wonderful things.